Dear tired mama,
I know what it feels like to wake up wishing for just five more minutes as the baby cries or the alarm squeals. You could handle the day…only if you could have just five more minutes.
And those are the good days.
The not so good days start with you wondering how to escape. How can you possibly squirm out of this skin that just doesn’t feel like you anymore. The feeling of failing or falling short settled over you like a thick fog. The feeling that you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t mind to simply shrink back into your bed and vanish.
Is this all there is? You wonder in your heart but never say a word about it. This whole thing is supposed to be painful and hard and exhausting, right? I’m supposed to feel like I’m always getting it wrong, someone else is getting it better, I should really just try harder.
But sometimes the walls seem to be closing in – the pressure, the schedules, the crying and whining. The laundry, the clutter, the spilled milk you really shouldn’t cry over, but what else is there to do? The whiplash of healthier, toner, more fit. Strive for it. Fight for it. You should be able to do it.
If only you could get just five more minutes. Please, just five minutes.
To complete a thought.
To look in the mirror and not buckle under the shame.
Just five minutes.
To feel something hopeful.
Dear mama, I see you.
Jesus does too.
The way you declare “I’m good” but honestly, you’re one kids meal away from throwing in the towel. Maybe not physically. You won’t actually leave. You’ll just check out on hope. Because if you can give up hoping, this all won’t hurt so much. It won’t be so disappointing.
Dear mama, I’m praying for you.
Jesus is too.
Praying you know that you are already enough. Right there, right now. You don’t have to change a single thing and you are still enough. You’re enough for His love. You are enough for Him to know every hair on your head by number. You’re enough for Him to know what you love, what makes you cry, what makes you come alive in those small quiet crevices of you that nobody else sees.
My prayer is that you get five minutes today.
Five minutes to know that the truth is you are not a disappointment, a failure or a mistake, rather you are adored and you are cherished.
Five minutes to take a deep breath, notice the sky above and rest in the promise that you are covered. Not by conditional hands that come and go with the breeze, but with His steady arms that never let go, always hold tight and secure you in unconditional love.
Five minutes to notice those things that you love, things that make you cry and things that make you come alive.
Five minutes to pay attention to those and realize they are not to be discarded, but to be held. For they are a reflection of who you most deeply are. And those are the things that He’s made in you as a gift. Seeds to be cultivated and grown to bloom in you the person He made you. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed of those things sweet mama. For those are the things He so longs to see you spending your days delighting in abundance.