As I child, I remember a tree that I used to climb up. One where I went to just sit still. I remember engraving my initials on “my” branch as if to stake a claim and declare it my own. It’s funny to think about it now, but I remember running home from school and not being able to wait to climb up that tree and sit in my space. It was the place where I could be still, watch from above, rest from the craziness.
There’s a part of my soul that needs that space that’s all my own. Where I can be still. Create. Be loved on by the Creator.
When my kids were babies, it was my bathroom floor. Kaitlyn was a terribly light sleeper and the beeping of the coffee maker would wake her up, so I decided to move it to my bathroom so the only thing not stored on my bathroom counter to create my special space was my creamer, to which I would quietly sneak to the kitchen to get every morning before anyone else was stirring. Then I would grab pillows off my bed and make a spot in the corner of my bathroom to just be still.
As my kids got older, I graduated to a chair in the corner of my room. It’s a fancy, albeit worn and tattered, glider my mom gave me when I was pregnant with my first baby and where I nursed, rocked and cried with all my children. And it’s mine. It’s still where I sit every morning before the sun is up, in the dark, quiet of the day’s awakening. It’s where I escape to cool off when I’m angry and where I battle when I’m confused and not sure where to land on something going on around me. It gives me a place to go when my heart needs to breathe.
Recently, I was feeling a pull to create another space. A different kind of space. One where I would be more intentional about studying and praying and being intentional to try my courage at this writing thing. I love my chair, but when you need to spread out, with multiple books and notebooks, my lap just isn’t big enough.
So I grabbed my husband and we went on a quest for the perfect desk. And it couldn’t be just any desk. I didn’t want any drawers or shelves…honestly, I just didn’t want one more thing to have to dust. I wanted something simple. And then we found it…and now this is my new favorite space (not that you can even see the desk with all that’s going on on top of it)…
I love this space mainly because it’s mine. My own little corner where I don’t have to adhere to anyone elses preferences or opinions. Just mine. It’s a work in progress. I keep moving things around and taking some things off, putting some other things up. Because.I.can. Without anyone’s permission or advice. It’s my own little space where I can let my thoughts run wild and sit quietly listening to the birds outside. The sun comes right in that window in the afternoons and shines on this cute little yellow mum I have sitting on the window sill. There are sticky notes on the wall in front of me with things I’m praying for…praying through. Quotes telling me to never give up and to keep fighting for the dreams I have in my heart. Bible verses pinned to boards to remind me of the things that make my heart jump. There are questions that I am still learning to answer…promises that I’m still declaring.
In the crazy hustle of life, it’s a space that reminds me to slow down, be present and remember the important stuff.
What about you? Do you have a space – big or small – where your soul can sit down and just be?