Seasons are a beautiful thing. Right now in North Carolina, the leaves are beginning to change colors and fall from their branches. The air is cooler and the breeze blows softer. And I’m finding myself in my favorite snuggly sweatshirt.
But seasons in life can be harder when transitions call you to do things you’ve never done before. When God asks you to shed your own leaves, leaving you a bit naked, vulnerable, wondering if the wind will blow so hard that all the leaves fall or if I’ll be able to cling to some, keep them because they’re comfortable, even if they are brown and rotted.
Seasons of being involved in lots of things, being known, being depended upon, being included and invited…they are exciting. The rush of the deadlines, the hustle and the constant reassurance that you are making a difference is exhilarating. I thrive in those seasons. The excitement carries me through tough decisions, the deadlines force me to conquer, the people depend on me…I must provide. And my pride will pat me on the back because I can see the difference I’m making, the capacity I have, the value I carry.
So when seasons change and He lets fall things that I hold tightly within my grasp, I begin to panic. When He calls me to a season of changing my focus, my plans, my busyness, I freak, because it’s not what I’m used to, what I’m comfortable with.
But God…He knows that my smallness still has value, even when I don’t. I have to battle the insecurities of insignificance and unloveliness. He reminds me that Jesus came and lived in a small way, but that was no reflection of His significance or His love. So, I’m spending today being small. Resting my soul on seemingly small things and sitting down on the inside as Emily P Freeman would say. Treasuring the things I’ve missed for so long and letting my heart rest deep instead of striving wide. Each season preparing for the next, next season being dependent up on the now. Standing with palms open, not holding on to any of the things that must fall.