Flipping through my Instagram feed the other day, I came across a friend‘s “Tell the Truth Tuesday” post – that of a laundry room full of clothes. It was refreshing…and it made me chuckle. Because behind all of the pretty pictures and list of accomplishments, there is always pile of laundry waiting to be done isn’t there?
So I thought I’d share with you the truth of what’s going on behind my scenes…
We are now six days into the #write31days challenge and this is possibly the hardest thing I have done since bearing children. Not so much because of having to write, but because I have dreamed beautiful dreams about writing…but never really done it. The day dreaming is easy. The actually putting it into accountable action – not so much.
So many fears flood when you attempt something you have only dreamt about. So many things are never attempted because we fear not only of failing, but that the dream will be so much better than reality and then what do we do? Pull up Pinterest and find something else to dream about I guess. Disappointment can leave scars far worse than failure. The fear of being disappointed keeps me from having the courage to attempt…dreaming seems so much easier. Then every once in awhile, I’ll get inspired and the wave comes, I fill with courage, get super excited, jump head first in, knock it out of the park, but then disappointed that the “high” didn’t last, I get bored…or the work required to continue is hard and I get lazy. That’s the truth. Before this challenge started, I quit a thousand times because I was afraid of the disappointment that it may not be as great or I may not be as strong as I had dreamed.
And even just six days in, I’ve been bombarded by every insecurity. Things not even related to writing – old junk dug up and random stresses and doubts seemed to surface every time I catch my breath. Ugh! I try to prepare myself for some “attacks” or whatever you want to call them. But the stuff I thought would bother me hasn’t and instead things from left field come flying in, socking me in the gut and I lose my breath.
But God….He sent a few people who keep speaking strength into my backbone. And it’s was those few people that believe I can do this that made me keep going. Isn’t that all we really need…is someone to believe it with us? I once watched a video of Denzel Washington speaking into some theater students and he said, “Dreams without goals remain dreams and fuel disappointment. Between your goals and achievement are discipline and consistency.”
So here I am, discipline and consistency with the goal of finishing these thirty-one days.
Day #6 done.